Wednesday, December 2, 2009

reasons why I am an idiot, number who's keeping track in an unending series

FUCK. Also: SHITASSBITCHFUCK.

There was a misunderstanding this evening, and I hate misunderstandings, especially when they make me feel stupid and embarrassed. See above.

The big one had a parent evening with Special! Live! Guest Speakers!

I thought it started at 8.

Apparently, it started at 7.

It takes me 20 minutes to drive to her school.

There was a sign on her classroom door that said "Knock And Wait Outside".

I waited for 20 minutes in the COLD ASS OUTSIDE. After knocking. Lightly.

After many increasingly embarrassed texts to my Baby Daddy (dood, so stupid, all waiting outside in the cold...do they hate me...why do they not open door...SO FUCKING COLD OMG I'M COMING HOME...) I went the hell home. Where I am now drinking wine and blogging about what a seriously lame lameass I am.

NO ONE MUST EVER KNOW. I crept away all stealth-like, lest someone hear my boots on the pavement outside and look out the window and say, "Hey, isn't that Emily out there skulking around like a moron? Let's heckle her for being too timid to knock with greater force than a cockroach, for verily, she is as such. Ha, ha, a cockroach I say. DORK!"

Thus ends day two. Shit.

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