Monday, May 4, 2009

why I am a failure, Part 1 in a neverending series

It's raining outside. I sent my children to school without rain gear.
I went grocery shopping but I think I only got enough food for the next day or two.
I've had two cups of coffee already but I think I'm going to need more.
I'm going to be 30 next month.
I haven't made my bed yet.
Even though I went grocery shopping, I'm not sure what we're having for dinner tonight.
I'm reading a book I hate but can't put down because at least the 30-something who wrote it managed to DO something with her life.
I tried on expensive jeans the other day in an effort to feel less empty inside.
I haven't made bread in more than 2 weeks.
My house is always dirty.
I think I might smell bad.
I'm secretly fat.

PHEW, it felt good to get that off my chest. I started this post by making a list of things that I had not yet accomplished even though I will be turning the creaky and constipated age of 30 next month, but the list was so disgustingly long and pathetic I erased the whole thing and decided to focus on a narrower topic: what I have or have not done to make myself feel like a failure TODAY.

BUT! On the plus side! On the Oh, Right, That's What Makes Life Worth Living side! Sprout has been singing "Ring of Fire": "I fell into a burning ring of fire I went down down down but the flames went higher and it burns burns burns the ring of fire the ring of fire." Over and over and over. It's fucking awesome.