We made them! And they were...Not Bad!
Here's what they looked like before the sun came up:
Here's what they looked like while they were boiling, also before the sun came up:
Here's a picture of the tree outside my kitchen window with no sun peeking out behind it because guess what? The fucking sun STILL wasn't up!
And here's what they looked like right before we ate them:
Like I said: Not Bad. Not delicious either, but it was a noble effort. Eventually the sun did come up and I was able to coax everyone out of bed with the lure of delicious bagels but I have to admit that the best part of this whole project might have been the hour or so that I got to myself, drinking coffee and boiling bagels, before anyone else was awake.